Bullets With Butterfly Wings

[Stella]

Okay here is some of Stella's background. I'm kind of doing it in installments so there will be further posts. I know the thread title is the name of a Smashing Pumpkins song but I thought the title fit her really well. I've taken some liberties with Galbadia Garden here so if anyone has it in their background and it really affects your character please let me know. In any other RP I might not have posted this but everyone here seems pretty good about the in character/out of character stuff ^_^

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• «•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸Bullets With Butterfly Wings¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•» •

The walls surrounding her were a beige color with an off-white wainscoting. For some people it might have seemed nice or relaxing but Stella found it incredibly boring. Peggy had told her the reason for the coloring was that it was a neutral color that didn’t invoke any emotion. It just wouldn’t do to have the Psychiatrist’s office painted red or some other violent color.

Stella had been attending these sessions with Peggy for a few weeks now. At first they were excruciatingly boring but now they were just all right. At least the Shrink let her sit in the window and have a smoke every once in awhile. It was a nice arrangement they had. Peggy didn’t push her into anything and Stella didn’t talk. All things considered her punishment for putting soap in the school fountain could have been much worse. Some sessions with the school Shrink weren’t all that bad. Even though at times it seemed like they were using her punishment just to get her in here. Someone in the garden elite must have thought she needed therapy. Hell, she probably did.

With a shrug she took a long drag off the cigarette in her hand blowing a coil of smoke out the open window. It was a nice day outside and she could see some of her fellow cadets playing with some water balloons out on the lawn. She longed to be out there with them having a good time, but no, she was up here serving her prison sentence.

“How many has it been this week?” Peggy’s voice cut through her thoughts calling Stella’s attention back to their conversation. The SeeD glanced down at the slender white thing resting between her fingers before taking another drag.

“Oh I don’t know I think this is my fifth pack” Stella said with an unsure little shrug. It had been ages since she kept track of that sort of thing. For some reason it had stopped mattering.

“No, I didn’t mean the cigarette Stella, I meant men. How many has it been this week?” She responded not moving from her large plush beige chair. Stella’s head whipped around to look at her, eyebrows raised.

“So you’ve heard then?” she asked in a level tone as she put her cigarette out on the window sill.

“Heard what?” Peggy replied with a question of her own as Stella carefully climbed down from the window.

“That I’m the premiere slut of Galbadia, of course” She said with a dazzling smile as she crossed the room and flopped down on the comfy beige couch. At least the office furniture was comfortable. If it wasn’t for the constant eyes on her she would find it amazingly easy to take a nap right now.

“Why do you continue this destructive behavior, Miss Artos?” Peggy asked with just a bit of an exhausted tone in her voice. Stella waved her hand with a roll of her eyes.

“You tell me, you’ve read my file after all” She quipped with sarcasm rolling in her voice. It had been on the table during their first session, just laying there on the glass coffee table next to a bowl of fruit and a tea set. Her name stamped boldly across the front in big red block letters.

“As I told you before it’s my job to read your file but I’d rather hear about the events of your life from you” she said in soothing tones. Stella had to admit it would be easy to like this woman if she let herself. Yeah, like that was ever going to happen.

“I’m just another SeeD cadet with a tragic past, who cares” She shrugged again fluffing one of the pillows on the couch with a fist.

“I care” Peggy said reaching out towards the tea set on the table and carefully pouring each of them a cup. It’s all they ever drank when during their sessions. Hot cups of tea were supposed to sooth and relax or some bull shit like that. The scary thing was she was actually starting to develop a taste for the stuff.

“Fine, if you insist on talking about it. Four. There’s been four guys this week” Stella answered her question at last watching intently as the shrink poured milk into the tiny china tea cups.

“What I would really like to talk about is your family” Her voice was quiet and still rather soothing as she spoke but even still it put Stella right on edge. The tea was poured next rich and dark from the elegant tea pot.

“They’re dead, what’s there to talk about?” She snapped kicking at the wood of the couch underneath her.

“I’m very sorry… it must have been so hard for you to lose them” Peggy reached out and touched Stella’s hand in a comforting way. For some reason it made Stella want to burst out into tears but as always she held them back.

“You read about it in the file so you know what happened” Stella said quietly as a cup of tea was pushed in front of her the steam corkscrewing up into the air.

“Yes I know all the tragic details but I don’t know how you feel about it and that it what’s most important to me” Peggy said leaning back as she took a drink out of her own cup.

“Fine, you want to hear about it, I’ll tell you” Stella growled grabbing her tea cup and leaning back on the couch.

• «•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸______¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•» •

The letter was clutched tightly in young Stella’s hand as she practically ran down the street towards her home. Living in her own world she didn’t even notice the busy city of Deling moving around her. There were brightly colored cars whizzing by, street merchants hawking all sorts of things and people busily rushing to and fro. But none of it mattered because today was the best day of her life.

Rounding a corner she rushed up the cobblestone walk to her house set just off the street. They weren’t the richest family in Deling but they were most certainly not the poorest. Her father was a detective with the city police force and her mother ran her very own flower shop on the far side of town. Between the two of them they could afford a nice place to live and to spoil their kids rotten.

Stella excitedly pushed the front door open rushing inside happily. The smell of their house was always so inviting. It was the smell of warm cookies mixed with the sent of the cologne her father wore. But today a different smell lingered in the air one that was far more sinister. Blood.

“Hello?” Stella called out as she stepped out of the foyer and into the main room. What she saw there caused her to stop dead in her tracks. Lying on the nice wooden floor that her mother loved so much was her younger brother. His neck was turned in a way that no human should be able to move. His blue eyes that were normally so full of life and joy were open and gazing at nothing.

“Derrick?” Stella said softly taking a few steps closer slowly moving around the couch. As she reached the end of it she let out a loud scream that they must have been able to hear all the way down the road. Lying on the lovely cream couch was the body of her father. His head was a bloody mess and the couch was stained with the thick red stuff.

“Stella, run” she heard her mother’s hoarse whisper from the other side of the room. Almost violently she spun around to see her beloved mother tied to a chair her face bloody and bruised.

“Mommy” Stella said around the lump in her throat. The letter in her hands dropped flipping end over end to land in a small pool of blood on the floor the crisp white parchment instantly stained.

Stella ran to her mother yanking at the knots surrounding her wrists and ankles tears rolling down her cheeks. Her mother was crying as well sobbing so hard that she was shaking.

“You have to get out of here Stella… They’ll kill you too” Her mother said trying to shoo her away desperately wanting her to get away.

“I’m not leaving without you, mommy” She said trying so hard to get the knots undone her little fingers fumbling over them uselessly.

“No” Stella’s mother froze in terror as she spoke her gaze trailed on the large staircase near by. Stella looked up to see a large man with a wicked smile coming down towards them.

“Well well, it seems the little girl has come home” he said with a deep chuckle. Stella had never been so scared in her entire life. Then with out another word the man raise the gun in his hand and fired. The bullet whizzed through the air and didn’t miss splattering her mother’s blood all over her.

She broke into tearful sobs still clawing at the ropes that held her mother’s dead hands in place. The man came to stand behind her casting a shadow down on her that would follow her for the rest of her life.

His arms wrapped around her and lifted her from the floor away from the body of her mother and all that she loved. A painful shock jolted through her body as his pistol landed on the back of her head. She tried to fight the unconsciousness quickly taking over her body but there was no hope, she was just a young girl after all.

Later when she awoke she found herself in a horrible place unlike any she had ever have nightmares of. In fact her life was turning into one big nightmare and she was lost in the darkness of it.

• «•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸______¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•» •

Her tea was cold by the time she was done with the story but she didn’t care. It was something to do to keep her from bursting out in tears. Carefully she drank the rest of what was in her cup swallowing down the lump at the back of her throat. Peggy moved across to sit beside her on the couch pulling her into a warm soft embrace using no words to comfort her. They sat that way for a long time until the Psychiatrist finally moved going to fix them some more tea.

“What was in the letter?” she asked casually turning the kettle on the boil the water. It was a tiny metal thing that plugged into the wall. It let off a little whistle when the water was boiled that Stella found adorable.

“It was my acceptance to the Deling art academy. A bright young star they called me” Stella snorted and rolled her eyes standing to head over to the window for another smoke. After that little tale she was in serious need one.

“You’re an artist?” Peggy said with a raise of her eyebrow. Stella smirked and climbed into the window easily noticing that the cadets out on the lawn were gone now. Shame, she was enjoying watching the boys run around in their wet t-shirts.

“So my file doesn’t hold all my secrets, huh?” Stella asked grinning over at her as she lifted a cigarette to her lips.

“No, Stella, I don’t think it even begins to scratch the surface of you” Peggy said with a little shake of her head. With a grin the cigarette was lit and instantly she felt more at ease then she had since she was last smoking. Dangerous. The whistle went off on the kettle and Stella couldn’t resist a grin.

“Do you still do any kind of art?” Peggy asked bringing the steaming kettle over to the teapot clinking around with the china.

“No. Art isn’t a useful skill for a SeeD” Stella answered shortly.

“It might be a useful skill for you, Stella” Peggy said straightening up to gaze at the young lady sitting in her window. She just shrugged roughly in response.

“How’s this then, I’ll let you go early today if you try and do some art this week and bring it with you to your next session” The shrink said taking a few steps closer to her patient. Stella turned and looked at her with a raise of an eye brow. Get out of here early? The offer was all too good to pass up.

“Sure that sounds good” She responded trying to be nonchalant about the whole thing. Truth was she was totally excited to get out of here, she had heard a rumor about a big party tonight.

“Very well then, see you next week” Peggy said releasing her at last. With a grin Stella hopped from the window.

“See ya” Stella said as she sauntered through the room. With a slam of the door she left the beige room behind. Free at last for another week at least.

[Stella]

The ringing of the doorbell was thundering in her ears. There was no way it could be time to wake up all ready. Who the hell was at her door this early in the morning? She raised her head and glanced at her alarm clock the numbers reading 2:30 pm. 2:30 on… Wednesday? Wednesday. Oh shit.

Stella clamored out of bed and threw on the first clothes she could find. A tatty pair of jeans some boy had left behind and a big black t-shirt. The room was reeling around her and she could barely tell which way was up. Rushing to the door she threw it open to find Peggy standing there with an impatient look on her face.

“Stella, good morning” Peggy said pushing her way into the SeeD cadets room and looking around with a look of distain on her face. The place was a mess. Clothes and random debris scattered the floor. The desk was scattered with random papers and the dishes were piling up on the kitchen.

“This is against protocol, I’m surprised you haven’t been written up” Peggy said shortly. Stella closed the door behind her and motioned at the cork board near by. Peggy inspected it to see five citations for un-orderly quarters pinned there. With a groan Stella collapsed back on the bed the rush of needing to get to the door slipping from her body leaving her head swimming.

“I was told by one of your Instructors that you haven’t been in attendance at any classes in three days, where have you been?” Peggy demanded to know shoving some of the stuff off the dark colored couch to sit down. There was stain on a near by cushion but she didn’t even want to begin to guess what it was.

“I was at a party” Stella said with a little grin remembering only some of the last three days. Most of it was a drunken blurry haze. But sometimes she found that she liked things that way.

“You’re hung over” Peggy said flatly.

“Correction, I’m still drunk” Stella said with a little giggle. Peggy shot up to her feet and headed for the kitchen. Empty bottles of every kind of booze imaginable littered the counters. A collection of half full ones stood at one end which she could only assume were being saved for further drinking.

“You have a serious drinking problem, Stella” Peggy said starting to gather up any bottles with booze left in them and dumping them down the drain. She watched the dark liquid swirl around with a small satisfied smile. This girl would be helped weather she wanted it or not, Peggy was determined.

Stella immediately got to her feet at the noise of liquid hitting the steel of her sink. Rage was quickly materializing in her gut. This was just not acceptable. This woman was not allowed to just come into her room and stark messing around with her stuff. She strode into the kitchen coming to stand beside the Psychiatrist.

“Don’t you know how much that stuff costs?” she exclaimed trying to snatch it out of Peggy’s hands. But in her drunken state Stella found herself much clumsier and slower then normal. She felt like a little girl trying to slap Peggy’s hands away.

“I imagine most of your SeeD salary. Go lay back down Stella, I’ll not have you hurting yourself” she said shortly dumping the next bottle down the sink. It was a pale bottle of some blue sort of vodka the alcohol sliding down the drain with a pleasing sound.

“Aww come on, I don’t have a problem. I just like to have a little fun on occasion” Stella said with a pout as she leaned against the kitchen wall trying to get control of her body. So much good liquor doing to waste, she was all ready thinking about how much money she’d have to put towards getting together a new supply.

“As long as you are under my care I’m not going to let you live like this any more and if you can’t accept that then perhaps the Garden can find another suitable punishment for you after your fiasco” Peggy stated simply dumping yet another bottle into the sink.

“Well maybe I’ll quit your sessions then, I don’t care” The SeeD cadet was practically shouting now. How dare this woman come storming into her room and boss her around like this? She had enough bossing around before she came to Galbadia to last her a life time.

“Then I’ll have to suggest to the Garden that they place you in a rehabilitation center” Peggy said as another bottle went down the drain infuriating the young woman even more. This time it was an expensive bottle of scotch a boy had given her on a date just last week.

“Fine, do what ever you want” The cadet huffed away with a growl only to collapse back on her bed staring up at the spinning ceiling. Unfortunatly she knew she was not winning this argument and her insides curdled at the thought of being placed in Rehab like some kind of low life.

“Did you do any art for me over the past week?” Peggy asked as she poured the last of the bottles down the drain dumping them all into the recycling bin. At least the girl still had one in her kitchen even though it was empty and the garbage can sitting next to it was overflowing.

“Yeah, on the desk” Stella said waving at a stack of papers there. Peggy flipped the light off in the kitchen and came back into the main room giving it another distasteful look. She picked her way through the clothing over to the desk and lifted up the pieces of paper.

It was lined paper so it ruined the compositions just a little but they were beautiful drawings of places all over Galbadia. They consisted of things like the fountain in the middle of the Garden, a group of boys on the basket ball court, some cadets out on the field learning weapon tactics.

“These really are lovely, Stella” Peggy said in a quiet voice as she sank down into the desk chair. Over the week the shrink had done her research on the Deling Art academy. It was not an easy institute to get into so it shouldn’t have been such a surprise that this messed up little SeeD cadet was a brilliant artist.

“Did you enjoy doing these?” she asked Stella watching her lying on the bed. She was definitely going to have to do something about this drinking this before it got much worse. Stella could hurt herself or worse someone else.

“I guess so” Stella responded with a shrug. Actually she had enjoyed it far more then she had meant to but it was not something she would ever admit to this woman. The pencil in her hands had brought back a lot of bad memories and feelings but it had been good to release them onto the paper and catch what she was seeing in her strokes.

“Do you mind if I keep them?” Peggy asked shuffling through them again. They really were great pieces and she was eager to see her patient do more of them.

“All yours” Stella grumbled rolling about on the bed a little a massive headache starting to throb in her temples.

Peggy stood glancing around the small room again trying to take notice of everything. Lastly her eyes landed on top of two boxes perched on top of the wardrobe. She headed over to them feeling Stella’s eyes on her.

“That’s the stuff the Deling police brought me after they found out I was here” Stella said answering the question before it was asked. Peggy turned and raised any eyebrow as an invitation to explain.

“One of my Dad’s friends on the police force knew I was still alive after my parents were killed. So during the investigation of their murder he managed to put all of my parent’s things, including the house, in a trust under my name. Imagine that I’m quite a rich little girl I can re-buy all that booze you just wasted” Stella said with a snort turning her gaze away from the boxes. It gave her just the smallest amount of satisfaction to see the shrink frown when she said the words.

“So what’s in these boxes?” Peggy asked inspecting the strong wooden boxes. She ran her fingers over Stella’s name stamped on the corners of them.

“Just some stuff he thought I might like to have till I was done with my SeeD training, some of my parents stuff I guess” she explained flatly not wanting to be talking about this at all. Her headache was getting worse by the second and for some reason the lights seemed to be getting brighter and brighter.

“Anything interesting then?” Peggy shot her another question. Stella was getting really tired of the third degree especially when she was feeling her hangover slowly over taking her body. All she wanted was for the nosey woman to leave her alone curl up in the darkness for awhile.

“I don’t know, I’ve never looked” She responded honestly her voice still very flat and lifeless. Maybe she would take the hint and leave.

Peggy was aghast. The girl had lost her parents at such a young age and had a piece of them here but refused to even look at what it might be. She really was torn up inside. At that moment Peggy decided she couldn’t blame her for the kind of life she was living. But that didn’t mean she was going to be any less adamant in getting her to change.

“Well when you’re ready to look I can be with you if you need me to” Peggy offered coming to sit on the bed by Stella’s feet. Fixing her gaze on her Stella growled softly with a shake of her head.

“Look, we obviously aren’t getting anything done like this. How about I just come coop myself up in your office for a few hours and you can quiz me all about my feelings” Stella said putting her hand to her head. The headache was getting worse by the moment the pounding seeming to roll through her whole body.

“Yes I think that will be acceptable. But what I’d really like to talk about is what happened to you after your parents died” Peggy said carefully. Before she even said the words she knew it was going to be a touchy subject for her. She was not wrong.

“I’m not going to talk about that, you can just forget it right now” Stella said her voice getting a dangerous tone to it. Peggy shuddered and reminded herself, not for the first time, that she was dealing with a trained killer.

“Are you sure? I think it would be good for you” Peggy stood up as she spoke. Then Stella’s eyes turned dangerous and cold as she sat up slowly in bed.

“I mean it, I’m not going to talk about the prison camp or anything that happened in it. So drop it” Her voice was as cold as her eyes, her look deadly serious. The guns she always carried with her rested on the nightstand near by and her fingers itched to grab them.

“Okay Stella, if that’s what you want” Peggy said calmly getting worried about losing trust with her patient.

“What I want is for you to get out” Stella growled hopping to her feet. She moved like a shot over to the door and flung it open making a short gesture suggestion that Peggy should leave.

It seemed best not to push things with this fragile woman right now. With a nod she headed for the open door giving Stella a concerned look on the way out.

“See you tomorrow then, Stella, and I expect you to be sober when you arrive at my office” Peggy said coolly before leaving the young girl alone in her misery.

[Stella]

Stella shuffled her feet looking down at the pink box of gourmet tea in her hands. Yesterday in her room she had been a total bitch to Peggy and now the guilt was wearing away at her. Maybe a little preset would help smooth things over between them. After all she still had quite a few more weeks of this left, might as well make it as pleasant as possible.

She pushed open the door to the Psychiatrist’s office and walked in expecting to see her waiting in her chair. But the room was empty the near by bathroom door was closed. Walking slowly over to the couch she stopped abruptly when she noticed two new picture frames on the wall. One of them held one of her sketches of the Garden’s fountain and the one next to it was empty.

The bathroom door opened behind her but she didn’t turn around just staring at the sketch mounted on the wall in the dark wood frame. It was amazing to see something she had drawn on display like that. Carefully she reached up with shaking fingers and touched the glass holding her sketch. The last time she remembered some one admiring some of her art was back when her mother had hung it on the refrigerator in their home.

“What’s all this?” Stella asked in a soft quiet voice still not turning to look at the other woman.

“If you won’t take pride in yourself Stella then at least know that I do” Peggy responded softly standing a few feet behind her.

“And the empty one, what’s that for?” She asked at last looking over her shoulder at the woman standing there with a kind smile.

“For whatever you draw me next”

Instantly Stella felt a blush creep up her cheek as she turned and looked back at the picture frames. Peggy was moving around behind her putting water in the kettle and turning it on. The sound of it reminded Stella of the gift in her hands. She spun around and held it out with a sheepish little smile.

“Here… I’m sorry about yesterday” Stella said quietly as Peggy took it from her hands inspecting the little package with a smile.

“Thank you so much” she responded, “I’ll make us some now”

“I’d like that” Stella said giving her sketch another glance before going over and sitting down on the couch looking around the office. All the other portraits and paintings around here were professionally done and she couldn’t deny the part of her that wished her art was that good.

“About yesterday, I was out of line, I’m sorry for trying to push you into a topic you aren’t comfortable with” Peggy said sitting down in her chair and looking across at Stella as she waited for the water to boil.

“It’s just... I’m not ready to…” Stella’s words trailed off as she turned her head to gaze out the window admiring the rainy clouds just on the horizon.

“Say no more Stella, I’m sure there are plenty of other things for us to talk about” Peggy said watching her patient.

“Yeah, I guess” Stella chuckled softly and shrugged her shoulder, “I guess I’m pretty screwed up huh?”

“No more then anyone else including me” Peggy said softly as the kettle came to a boil the cute little whistle filling the room.

“Love that thing” Stella said with a grin as Peggy bustled over to pour the water into the tea pot.

“If you don’t want to talk about the camp then let’s talk about how you got here, how you became a Seed” Peggy said as she scooped some of the new tea leaves into the tea pot.

“I escaped the camp and found my way here, it wasn’t all that hard” Stella said with a shrug as Peggy poured the water over the tea the smell of it instantly teasing her senses.

“I understand that the war hero Irvine Kinneas had something to do with your enrollment here?” Peggy asked bringing the tea set over and sinking down into her chair.

“Yeah, he helped me get by the gate guard” she said with a smile remembering that day.

• «•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸______¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•» •

Stella Artos stood on the hot asphalt road looking up at the glittering red form of Galbadia Garden. At that moment it was truly the most beautiful thing she had ever seen. It stood for so much. Protection, Security, Opportunity but most of all it stood for Freedom. The building was like a red angle it’s wings out stretched welcoming her to its embrace.


Her feet were tired and covered with wounds and blisters but still she managed to find the strength to run the rest of the way towards the building. The torn jeans she wore some nice lady had given her back in Winhill beat against her legs. Her T-shirt was something she had found discarded on a beach awhile back and still had bits of sand clinging to it. Tucked into the waist band of her jeans were the only thing of value she owned. Her guns, Lyric and Rhyme, felt cool and reassuring on her skin her hands resting on them to keep them in place as she ran. It wouldn’t do to lose them now after carrying them this far.

The gate guard was eyeing her suspiciously as she approached. Tucked away behind his glass booth he had his feet kicked up and the latest weapons monthly in his hands. His scrutinizing gaze took in her shabby appearance and straight away assumed the worse. It wasn’t every day he saw a ragged obviously starving girl come running at his Garden. She reached him panting to catch her breath.

“Can I help you with something?” he asked lowering his feet as he gently raised an eyebrow.

“I’m here to join SeeD” Stella said in a small voice looking through the glass at him. He chuckled deeply and leaned back in his chair. His gaze fixed on her looking at her as if she was nothing. That look was something she was used to from her days in Adel’s camp and at that moment she swore she was never going to put up with it again. Not after she became SeeD.

“Well not anyone can just stroll in and become SeeD, you have to have a sponsor” he said putting his feet back up. She was just about to start shouting when a cool confident voice interrupted her thoughts.

“I’ve never heard that before” a man stepped up behind her in a long tan trench coat his black hat tipped down to partially hide his handsome face. His voice had a bit of a twang to it as he stared in at the gate keeper. The keeper was instantly on his feet.

“You can’t blame me for having a bit of fun, sir. I was just about to let her in” He said hastily giving the man a salute. Stella grinned pleased to see the man getting put in his place. At the time she had no idea who he was; imagine her surprise years later when she learned.

“Good idea” the man said giving the keeper a dirty look. His strong hand came to rest on Stella’s shoulder and she jumped away immediately fear coursing through her. She absolutely did not like being touched under any circumstances; not after all she had been through.

“Hey now, no one here is going to hurt you, kitten” he said gently opening the little metal gate for her and letting her step in a Garden for the first time. It was a gorgeous place that simply took her breath away. Part of her wanted to stand there and gaze at it forever but she was scared of being left behind so she scampered to keep up with the long legged man.

“I’m Irvine” he said with a grin as he sauntered along next to her waving at some of the girls scattered around the Garden. They practically swooned at his grin falling all over himself. Stella giggled a little and looked up at him.

“Stella” she said trying to ignore all the people looking at her. It made her uncomfortable to be the center of attention. Usually in the camp being the center of attention was bad news.

“The Headmaster’s office is right this way” he led her up a flight of stairs into a large spacious room over looking the main square. A man in a crisp suit and a friendly smile was sitting behind the large desk a mountain of paper work spread out in front of him.

“A new recruit for you, boss, this is Stella” Irvine said giving her a little push forward. She almost stumbled but then caught herself on a chair giving the man a little smile.

“Nice to meet you, Stella. I’m Headmaster Loarn and welcome to my Garden” he said. The glance he gave her was one of concern not at all like the gate guard had given her. Obviously he was worried about her shabby appearance and her unwashed hair.

“So why do you want to become SeeD” He asked her pushing aside the papers he was working on and motioning towards the chair. She sat right away appreciating the softness and the beauty of the room she was in. For a long time she had been taking orders so sometimes now she just did what she was told without asking.

“I want to protect myself” Stella answered her hands resting on her guns reflexively. He nodded wisely the placing of her hands not lost on him. They were beautiful weapons glittering gold and silver in the band of her jeans.

“Not only does a SeeD protect themselves but others to, do you think you can do that?” as he spoke her thoughts wandered back to the camp, to all the people she knew there, to all the people that had ever been hurt. The need for revenge filled her heart deep and thick.

“Yes, sir, I know I can do that” she responded with an edge of steel in her voice. As soon as she said them she knew she meant those words to the very core of her soul.

“Very well then, Stella, welcome to Galbadia Garden” as he said the words pride filled her making her feel as if she was no longer sitting but instead floating above the world. She would be SeeD and she would never be anyone’s victim again.

“If you go next door and speak to Calrissa she’ll get you signed up and into a dorm room, I hope to see you doing well in all of your classes” he said giving her a wink as she slowly stood up. Irvine gave her a smile as she slid by him and she gave him a little grin back. At this moment in time she was on top of the world. Slipping out the door she heard Irvine addressing the Headmaster.

“About that Gate Guard, fire him” he said in his smooth voice making her heart fill with joy.

• «•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸______¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•» •

“Did you know that Mr. Kinneas still keeps an eye on your progress on occasion?” Peggy asked gazing across the coffee table at Stella. The SeeD cadet raised an eyebrow and grinned a little in surprise.

“Really? Well that’s interesting… I wonder why?” Stella mused out loud remembering standing in the shadow of the tall cowboy.

“Perhaps he saw the same things I see in you on that day” Peggy said with a little smile. Stella grinned ruefully and shook her head a little looking down at her empty tea cup.

“So I have a present for you as well” Peggy said getting up and walking over to her desk in the corner of the room and opening one of the drawers. She brought Stella back a package wrapped shiny purple paper. Carefully she peeled the wrapping away giving Peggy an amazed look. It was the first time in a long time that someone, who wasn’t male, gave her a gift. Inside the wrapping were a sketch book and a large box of drawing pencils.

“Oh wow” Stella said softly running her fingers over the items, “Thank you…”

“The best thanks you can give me are to draw me something else to put in that empty frame” Peggy said with a grin and a little wink. Stella grinned back and nodded as she stood up. She headed towards the door clutching her new art supplies happily.

“Stella, one more thing…” Peggy said stopping her at the door. This was heading into dangerous territory and the shrink knew it but she had to do something.

“Yeah?” she asked turning to look at her.

“You really don’t think you have a drinking problem?” Peggy asked softly taking a few steps closer to her patient.

“Of course I don’t” Stella said with a roll of her eyes.

“Then it should be easy for you not to drink until our next meeting, if you can do that then maybe I’ll get you something else” Peggy said carefully eyeing the way Stella was holding the sketch book in her arms.

“Oh please, that will be easy” Stella said with a little grin as she twirled around and left the office behind.

---

More on the way! Next up some stuff regarding Stella's love life.

[Stella]

A week ago Stella thought not drinking would be as easy as pie. However she found it harder then she ever imagine possible. It had been more difficult then anything else she had ever done and in her life there had been some tough challenges. Seven whole days and not an ounce of alcohol in her system but she had smoked a hell of a lot of cigarettes. It had been excruciating. Now here she was standing outside Dr. Peggy’s door in triumph.

“Hey” Stella said as she walked into the room closing the door carefully behind her. Peggy had the tea all ready and waiting perched in her comfy chair. Over time these sessions got less and less tedious she was beginning to think she might even miss them after her punishment was over. It was really nice to have someone to talk to.

“How are you today, Stella?” she asked with a smile motioning towards the couch. Stella passed on the offer of the couch and instead climbed up into the window pushing it open and pulling her pack of cigarettes from her pocket.

“So how has your week been?” Peggy asked turning a little in her chair to face the younger woman. It was a polite way of asking her if she had been drinking.

“One hundred percent sober” Stella said getting to the point. There was no point in betting around the bush about things might as well clear the air right now.

“Congratulations, did you find it difficult?” Peggy asked with a pleased little smile. It was the first time in a long time Stella wanted to punch her. She hated that triumphant little grin of hers.

“No” Stella responded flipping the cigarette into her mouth and lighting it carefully with her bright pink lighter. What a total and complete lie. But she couldn’t let Peggy know that she might actually be right about this.

“You need to be very careful, Stella, you have a very addictive personality” The Psychiatrist said softly as she gazed at her. Stella snorted taking another long drag as she rolled her eyes.

“What makes you think that?” she asked gazing at Peggy letting out a long blow of smoke. At least the other woman wasn’t smiling that obnoxious smile anymore.

“The drinking, the smoking, the men” Peggy listed off all her bad traits ticking them off on her fingers. Stella chuckled deeply shaking her head.

“The men? You think I’m addicted to sex or something?” Stella said continued to laugh as she spoke taking another long comforting drag. Her cigarette was disappearing quickly and she desperately wanted another but she knew it would not do to chain smoke in front of the shrink. She would seriously get told off for doing something that bold.

“Yes actually I do” Peggy said watching Stella as she stamped the cigarette out on the sill and leaned against the glass of the open window.

“I don’t have sex with every guy I date, I’m not as bad as my reputation says” She said quietly looking down at the grass far below her. Someone was having a barbeque out there and the smell was making her stomach rumble.

“Do you sleep with many of them?” Peggy asked with a little frown not like the way the younger woman was perched in the window. It looked like she was going to go tumbling out of it at any moment.

“A few I guess, when the desire takes me, but mostly I just make out with them for awhile and then kick them out of my room. After that they spread rumors about me because they are pissed off and hurt. I guess if people hear the same things enough they start to believe them” Stella said with a shrug trying to fight the urge to reach for another cigarette.

“Why do you think you do that?” Peggy asked softly.

“I like having that power over them… I like knowing they aren’t going to break my heart and that on occasion I have broken their hearts.” Stella said in a moment of true admission her words cold and brittle in her throat. If the glass in front of her had suddenly started freezing over she wouldn’t have been surprised.

“Why?...” Peggy’s voice was genuinely concerned. With a sigh the cadet slowly climbed out of the window and padded across the room to the couch.

“You’ve obviously never heard about my relationship with Sar Winterson” Stella said brushing off one of the cushions before flopping down on it. Just saying his name made her heart ache. Even though it had been awhile ago the hurt and memory of it all still felt very fresh.

“Even if I had I couldn’t tell you” Peggy said referring to her binding rule of patient doctor confidentiality. That was the one rule that Stella actually liked around this place.

“I loved him” Stella admitted quietly laying down on the couch and staring up at the ceiling. The words were so very hard for her to say shaking her right down to the very core.

“Tell me about him” Peggy said simply leaning back in her chair.

• «•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸______¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•» •

“Steeella, looking fine today babe” one of the boys said circling her slowly another one jeered from near by. There were three of them all big and strong and older then her. They were trying to make her uncomfortable and it was working.

“Just leave me alone” She said frozen in place unable to get away from the fingers caressing her along the arm. Her books were clenched tightly to her chest and she was shaking.

“Oh the little girl wants to be left alone…” One of them said with a mocking little pout.

“Get the fuck away from me” She shouted her courage welling up inside. Stella reminded herself that she had dealt with much worse at the prison camp and at least here she could defend herself. Quickly she threw her books hard at the boy closest to her and balled her hand into a tight fist. In one smooth movement she cocked it back and brought it thundering forward into the boy on the other side of her. He was obviously not expecting such an attack from the little girl and it sent him reeling back against the wall near by.

With a growl she launched herself forward at the third one who was staring at her in amazement. He tried to grab her by the shoulders but she was something else in mind for him. Grunting she brought her knee right up between his legs hearing a crunch as it slammed home. The boy fell to the ground with a satisfying groan.

“Very impressive” a silky, arrogant voice commented from behind her. She spun around ready to fight another but instead stopped in her tracks. Her heart was still pounding fast as she stopped to glare at the form towering over her.

“I didn’t know you have such fire in you, you’re usually so quiet in all our classes” He continued with a bemused little smile looking over her shoulder at the three boys pulling themselves up.

Stella recognized the young man almost immediately. Hell any girl in the Garden would without batting an eye. He was Sar Winterson Galbadia’s most promising cadet. He was tall, almost taller then most of the instructors, and piercing eyes that seemed to search out your very soul. Most of the girl’s knew about him because of his deadly charm and his good look. Stella knew to stay away from him. If the tales she heard were true more then one young SeeD cadet had lost their virginity to this young handsome man.

She shuddered a little and turned away from him going over to collect her books shooting the other boys murderous looks. At last slowly but surely her heart was calming down and her hand was starting to throb in pain. She shouldn’t have punched him so hard her hand would be smarting for days. But it had felt really good to protect her self like that.

“You all right, flower?” Sar asked watching her with those eyes. She had always avoided him in all her classes at the urgings of the few friends she had. However it was easy to see why so many girls fell into his trap, he was hot.

“Yes, thank you” Stella answered with forced politeness as she clutched her book in one hand letting the injured one fall to her side. He tutted softly and strode for his long fingers wrapping around her wrist and raising her hand for inspection. Straight away at the touch she stiffened and started pulling away but he held her wrist tight and firm.

“You may have broken it” he stated simply looking up into her eyes. Dread filled Stella. She hated the infirmary more then any where else on the garden. It was so small, so enclosed. With great effort she wrenched her arm away from him thinking of the Hi-Potion she had stashed away in her room. Looking down she pushed passed him and headed wearily towards her dorm room.

About halfway there she had the distinct feeling of being watched. Feeling a bit paranoid she glanced over her should to see that he was only a few steps behind her watching her.

“What do you want?” She snapped spinning around to stare up at him. He had the most arrogant smirk on her face she had ever seen. For a moment she considered smacking it right off of him.

“Let me take you to the infirmary” he said quirking one of his eyebrows up a little. She shook her head firmly and started to turn around again wanting to get away from him as soon as possible.

“Come on, flower, you’ve got to get that hand looked at” Her name sounded almost perverse coming from his lips as he reached out to touch her shoulder. As soon as his fingers made contact she jumped away fear thundering through her.

“I have a name, I bet you don’t even know it” she growled softly her eyes full of fire as she stared up into his gaze. For a moment he looked a little surprised and then frowned a bit.

“Stella” he said with a shrug of one shoulder, “You’re the one that won’t use GFs. I’m in your junctioning class”

“Well imagine that you actually notice someone other then yourself” she said with snort before rolling her eyes and turning around again. Her dorm room wasn’t far away if only she could get there she could shut the door in his face.

Then with almost no warning she felt his arms wrapping around her waist and lifting her up off the floor. The books in her arm tumbled to the floor with a loud crash scattering all over. He was carrying her away from the salvation of her dorm and towards the dreaded infirmary.

“Put me down” she screamed gaining the attention of a few cadets near by. It didn’t matter how many people stared at them all she wanted was to be put down right now. He didn’t answer her; he just continued making his long confident strides.

She really started screaming then absolutely hating the physical contact. It brought back so many memories so many horrid things churning in her memory. Suddenly she felt herself lost in it.

“No, not again!” Stella cried out squirming in his arm. She truly started fighting him then kicking backwards against his shins her fists beating on the arms around her waist. Her breath was shallow and almost hysterical. He must have got the point because he gently set her down on the floor. Stella turned unable to control herself anymore and pummeled his chest with her fists.

Sar stood astonished looking down at the woman that was hitting him with blind fury, shouting out at him. For a few moments he stood their dumbfounded and then noticed they were gathering a crowd. So he did the only thing he could think of. He grabbed her around the waist again and pulled her into a near by classroom assuming it would be empty this time of day. Lucky for both of them it was.

Gently he set her down on the desk and grabbed her wrists to stop her from hitting him any more. He was going to have some serious bruises tomorrow. Carefully he lowered himself down to look at her in the eyes.

“Stella” he said her voice in a soothing tone making her head snap up to look at him, “I don’t know who you think I am… but I’m not going to hurt you”

“It always hurts” she said softly with a little shudder trying to pull her hands away from him the all ready hurt one seriously throbbing in pain. His grip got tighter.

“I get it now, you don’t like to be touched, but I’m not getting you go until you calm down and promise to stop hitting me” he whispered to her trying to keep her gaze locked on his. She just nodded mutely her eyes empty as she stared at him. Gently he let her hands go and leaned back on the desk behind him.

“Sorry” Stella mumbled not knowing what else to say absolutely mortified at her loss of control.

“I get worse from my sisters at home all the time” he said with a deep little chuckle watching her with concern. She wasn’t looking at him but instead kept her eyes on the floor cradling her wounded hand to her chest. Her hair was mussed and her face flushed but Sar had to admit she looked breathtaking just then. He was determined to find out just what was up with this girl.

“I’m Sar, by the way” he said lightly gazing at her and enjoying the view.

“I know” Stella responded softly as she slowly got to her feet using her free hand to smooth out her cadet uniform.

“So you’ve heard of me?” he asked with a smirk.

“Who hasn’t?” she retorted with a roll of her eyes. He grinned even wider; it was good to see a bit of her spunk resurfacing. She looked up at him and bit her bottom in a dead sexy way that made him just want to melt.

“Look, thanks or whatever” she said with a little shrug before turning and heading for the door. He stood up and beat her to her sliding between her body and the door.

“I’ve got a Hi-Potion in my room, I want to use it on my hand, please let me by” she said attempting to stay as calm as possible. To keep her anger all bottled up inside with her tears.

“First you have to agree to go on a date with me” his voice was smooth and he was giving her that look again. Like she was something on the menu and he was ready for a feast.

“I don’t go on dates” she said her voice a bit jerky. Just the idea of going on a date with this boy was sending her heart racing. All the warnings her friends had given her about him rolled through her head.

“Even SeeD cadets have to get out every once in awhile, have a little fun” his voice was a smooth as ever as he leaned over her. Hyne, he was handsome. He was so irresistible with hat dark hair, those gorgeous eyes. Stella didn’t want to admit it but it would be seriously easy to develop a crush on him. Suddenly she started giggling at the thought of crushing on the guy she had been beating on only a few moments before.

His lips turned up in a little grin and found himself laughing as well with her. Soon their laugher was filling the entire room as the both tried to gasp and catch their breaths.

“Say yes Stella, I promise I won’t ever hurt you” he said once he had his voice back slipping to the side to free up the door for her. She gave him a skeptical look opening the door and stepping out into the hall. Glancing over her shoulder at him she shrugged and headed for her room.

“See you tomorrow at seven?” he shouted after her watching the way she walked. How had he not noticed her before? She was a complete and total treat. Well, he would just have to cancel his standing date with whats-her-name tomorrow. This girl was far more interesting and even posed a bit of a challenge.

• «•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸______¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•» •

“Sounds like a pretty strange first meeting” Peggy said taking a sip from the tea cup in her hand. Stella gazed across at her for a bit and then nodded.

“It was” She responded with a little shrug standing and glancing at the clock. Their time together was well over and she had things to do.

“Did you end up going on a date with him?” Peggy asked watching Stella walk towards the door.

“Oh yes, that and so much more but I think we’ll save it till next time” Stella said grabbing her jacket off the coat rack she had thrown it on earlier.

“Are you going to go back to drinking Stella?” Peggy asked standing up and setting her little pad of notes on the chair. Stella shrugged into her jacket and stared at the wall for a moment.

“Maybe... I don’t know” she answered honestly looking over at Peggy for a silent moment before opening the door and stepping out.

[ani]

I like this O.O Actually, I know Stella has a pretty messed up past so I'm always wondering how she handles all those griefs inside. She's pretty tough. And man, look at those relationships XD Atleast now she's in good hands >] *winks at Raydie*

Also XD Stella's daddy is named DerricK XD Haha I just thought that was cool LOL He was murdered.

[Stella]

Thank ani ^_^ I'm glad you like it. Its been a lot of fun writing it. Hopefully this part isn't too confusing. There's a lot of switching between the past and the present

---

• «•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸______¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•» •

“So what are we doing here?” Stella asked looking around the beach. It was winter time and there wasn’t another soul sitting on the sand. The car ride from Deling to here had been short and silent. Now Peggy was lying out a big picnic blanket by the sea.

“I thought you might like the fresh air” Peggy responded setting down the picnic basket. She had even brought a big thermos of hot tea for them. The Psychiatrist seemed to think of everything. It must had said some where in Stella’s file that she liked the ocean. That had to be the only reason they were here.

“Yeah, I guess it’s all right” Stella said with a shrug sinking down onto the blanket. Pulling her jacket tight around her she sighed and looked out at the tumultuous ocean. “It’s definitely better then being cooped up inside all day” she continued thinking about the past few days. She sighed pulling her cigarettes out of her jacket pocket.

“How has your week been, Stella?” Peggy asked shaking her head as Stella lit the cigarette.

“Pretty crap. As I’m sure have heard I got in even more trouble for getting in a fight, guess I’ve earned more sessions with you after all” Stella said with yet another sigh looking down at the back of her hand where her knuckles were red and swollen. Some of them were even cracked with scabs on them.

“Cadet Winterson is recovering nicely if you were wondering” Peggy interjected giving Stella a look of concern.

“I wasn’t” the cadet snapped shortly turning her attention back to the sea. It was true, the less she thought about him the better.

“Last week you told me you loved this boy… I don’t-” Stella cut off Peggy’s sentence with a short curt movement of her hand.

“Loved, as in past tense, I don’t give a shit about him now. All I want is for him to stay away from me. I’m not going to let him play with my head or my heart anymore” Stella stated coolly as she finally turned to Peggy.

“Would you be comfortable with talking about your relationship with Cadet Winterson some more?” Peggy quirked her eyebrows at the hard look in Stella’s eyes.

“Fine, whatever” Stella said putting her cigarette out in the sand next to her. She stared down at the back of her hands. Her bruised and scabbed over knuckles stared back.

“It was really good in the beginning. He was so gentle and kind everything I had ever imagined my first boyfriend would be. I was always worried that he would push me into something I didn’t want but other then showing up on my doorstep for our first date he never did anything without making sure I was okay with it” Stella jerked her shoulders up in a shrug as she talked lowering her hands so she didn’t have to look at them anymore. It was easy to remember those times when she had been so happy too bad it had all been tainted.

“Sounds nice” Peggy said tentatively, “what happened?”

“It was all lies” Stella’s eyebrows drew together and her fingers itched for another cigarette, “However he was the one that helped me learn to touch again… to accept a hug without a flinch. So I guess I owe him for that”

• «•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸______¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•» •

“Stella, how many times do I have to tell you, I’m not going to hurt you” Sar whispered to her as he reached out gently and touched her cheek. She shook her head and backed up a few paces into her dorm room leaving him standing at the door.

They had been dating for months and over that time they had barely even hugged let alone kissed. She was just too scared to let that happen. Over the years in the camp she had to deal with too many unwanted hands on her.

“It’s not that I don’t trust you, Sar, I do…” Stella looked up at him tears brimming in her eyes. Hyne, how she hated it when she cried.

“Oh Stella” he said in a soft voice. Then he swooped into her dorm room the door closing behind him and lifted her into his arms. She stiffened immediately and started trying to pull away panic rising in her. It was just like when she was in a small space. Her chest started to tighten her breath getting short and erratic.

“Shhh... its okay… it’s only me and nothing is going to happen to you, not while I’m here” he whispered in her ear petting her hair softly, “I love you Stella”

The words broke something inside of her and tears started streaming down her face, her body collapsing in his arms. She leaned against him hard and heavy and let the sobs flow. Her heart was filled with happiness and she felt as if she never wanted to move again.

“I love you too, Sar” she whispered between her sobs her arms wrapping around him tight and hard.

“My Stella… my little flower… I’m going to take such good care of you… you just have to let me” he whispered to her, his lips brushing her ear softly.

• «•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸______¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•» •

“After that it was all down hill… I was sleeping with him in a matter of weeks” Stella said a bit of shame creeping up in her voice. She punched the sand next to her driving it into her wounds with a wince.

“I was such a stupid little girl to believe him” She growled wishing she could have him here right now so she could give him another ass kicking.

“Why did it all change?” Peggy said reaching out to take Stella’s hand in a soothing manor. It actually helped make her feel better that touch from another person. Perhaps that’s why she sought it out so often.

“I started getting a back bone, I guess?” she said with a little shrug and then paused her eyes growing dark, “no I guess it all started when I met his other girlfriend Grace”

• «•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸______¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•» •

Sar had gone off to his morning class leaving her lounging in his bed. She did enjoy being all wrapped up in his sheets that smelled of him. Besides he would be back in a few hours and there was no where else she wanted to be when he returned. The doorbell rang suddenly cutting through her thoughts.

Climbing out of bed she grabbed his bathrobe from near by and threw it over her silky pajamas. Walking over to the door she opened it to find another girl standing there. She was beautiful with long dark red hair tumbling all around her shoulders.

“Sar here?” the red haired girl snapped giving Stella a seriously dirty look.

“Um no, he’s at class this morning, is there something I can do for you?” Stella asked a bit timidly biting at her bottom lip. Girls like this always intimidated her.

“So you’re the new slut he is sleeping with?” the other girl said pushing past Stella and heading into the dorm room. Stella blinked her eyes following the other girl shock rocketing through her.

“Excuse me?” Stella said closing the door and turning to look at the girl who was now rooting through one of Sar’s desk drawers.

“Stella right?” she snorted and rolled her eyes, “I’m Grace, his other girlfriend”

“What?” Stella asked her heart skipping a beat, “that’s not true”

“Oh come on, you didn’t think you were the only one that Sar Winterson was fucking did you?” Grace said straightening up with a scowl on her face. The dirty word didn’t even faze Stella, she was all ready too much in shock.

“I.. I.. I did” Stella stammered her heart thudding in her chest her body feeling as if it would go numb at any moment.

“Well let me give you a hint girlie, Sar is never a one girl man, but oh do I have big news for him” Grace said a wicked little grin playing over her face.

“What is it?” Stella asked in concern sinking down to the couch her heart slowly breaking in her chest at the news.

“I’m pregnant and it’s all his” Grace said with a disgusting little smirk. Stella felt her heart drop slowly to the floor shattering in one million little pieces.

“I’ve got to go…” Stella whispered standing up and sliding off the robe letting it pool on the floor.

“Good idea” Grace said with a snort going back to the desk drawer. In a haze Stella gathered her things from the bed room and came back out into the living room to see Grace making her self comfortable on the couch.

“If you know what’s good for you little girl, you’ll stay away from him. He’s mine from now on” Grace said as Stella fled the dorm room letting the tears roll freely down her cheeks.




It was quite a few hours later when a knock sounding on her dorm room door. She had just been sitting on her couch for most of the day staring blankly at the wall. During that time she hadn’t bothered to eat or drink or even change out of her pajamas. Another knock sounded but she ignored it. Then the door started opening and she cursed herself for ever giving her “boyfriend” the code number to get in.

“Stella” Sar said with a soft tone to his voice when he walked into her room, the door closing behind him.

“Get out” she said softly not looking at him.

“I haven’t seen Grace in ages and if she’s pregnant its most certainly not mine. You’re the only girl I’m with right now Stella” he whispered to her softly taking a few steps towards her on the couch.

“Am I supposed to believe that?” she asked at last looking up at him.

“You know I wouldn’t lie to you, Stell” he said reaching his hands out to her. Maybe she wanted to believe him and that’s why she did so easily. She was up on her feet and in his arms almost without thinking. He held her tight and she cried angry at herself for not believing in him.

“I’m so sorry Sar, I never should have listened to her” Stella said softly against his chest her fingers curling around his shirt.

“It’s okay, you didn’t know, just don’t do it again” he responded softly before picking her up and carrying her to her bed.

• «•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸______¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•» •

“Was the baby actually his?” Peggy asked cutting into her thoughts. Stella snorted and made a decision to stop fighting the urge. Yanking out another cigarette she lit it quickly and took a long drag.

“Of course it was” she answered with a shake of her head, “but I still believed what he said, still kept faith in him”

“Why do you think he stayed in the relationship with you for so long?” Peggy questioned handing Stella a steaming cup of tea. The SeeD Cadet took it with her free hand and sipped at it idly.

“Oh I know exactly why, I over heard him talking about it to some friends one night” Stella said her voice hard and cold.

• «•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸______¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•» •

Stella was going to surprise him. She had spent most of the day making the large cheesecake, his favorite, and was looking forward to presenting it to him tonight. Clutching it tightly in her hands she walked down the hallway and then stopped when she heard Sar’s laugh. Edging over to the balcony she looked down and spotted and him and a few of his friends gathered around on of the benches.

She was going to say hello but then caught someone saying her name down there and stopped. Ducking behind a large plant she felt a little guilty as she listened in to their conversation.

“Sar, what is up with this Stella chick? You could have any girl in this Garden and often do, what makes her worth your time?” his friend asked taking a long drink off his beer. Sar laughed and looked around at his posse with a gleam in his eyes.

“She’s the best lay I’ve ever had” he confided in them with a nasty little grin.

“The best? Damn, that’s saying something” one of them responded with a loud burp.

“She’s a tiger in the sack and her tits…” Sar went on with that grin still on his face chilling her to the very bone. She started backing away from the plant her hands shaking as they clung to the cheesecake.

Turning she ran all the way back to her dorm not wanting to hear anymore. When she arrived back there she threw the cheesecake against the wall watching it slide down in long disgusting clumps. Falling to the floor she cried till it hurt.

• «•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸______¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•» •

“Why did you stay with him Stella?” Peggy asked watching as Stella drank and smoke not wanting to push the issue.

“I loved him” Stella said simply with a shrug as she finished off yet another cigarette. Hyne this was a damned hard topic.

“It has to be more then that” The psychiatrist inquired with a frown.

“I liked to feel wanted, special... I think... I don’t know” she mused her eyes watching the waves violently crash on the shore. Sometimes she just wanted to throw herself into the ocean and let it pound her into the sand.

“It got much worse before I got smart and made it better” Stella whispered watching her warm breath curl up into the air.

• «•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸______¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•» •

“I’m leaving you” Stella announced to him when he came to her room. He smirked and leaned against the door way crossing his arms in an all too arrogant way.

“You’re leaving me?” he grinned and shook his head taking a few steps closer to where she was standing.

“Yes. I heard you talking to your friends the other night” she said dangerously defiant as she watched him.

“Oh you sneaky little minx” he said closing the door to her dorm room behind him, “you really think anyone else here is going to want you?”

The words stung and he knew he was hitting her just in the right place. All ready Stella’s insecurities were playing up bringing tears to her eyes. She couldn’t help but think he was right but his words from the other night came to her mind.

“Well I am a great lay” she sneered using the last of her strength. He chuckled and stepped forward wrapping his arms around her waist. She pushed him away stumbling back a few steps.

“No one will want damaged goods and that’s all you are Stella” he hissed at her grabbing her wrist so she couldn’t get away. She squirmed in his grip trying to get away from him.

“Never think about leaving me again” he whispered to her and then pain exploded across her face. She fell back to the floor trying to catch her self on anything but there was nothing there. Landing hard on the carpet she realized he had just punched her.

“Your mine, Stella, and don’t make me do that to you again” he said to her leaning over to look at her face. There would be a mark but she could easily cover that up with make-up.

“Sar... I’m sorry... I won’t” she said filled with terror as she looked up at him. All she had ever wanted was to make him happy and now she was failing. He snorted and straightened looking down at her with that smarmy smirk again.

“Good” he said as he lifted her to her feet and pulled her in for a long hard kiss.

• «•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸______¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•» •

“Stella…” Peggy said the name softly her voice almost getting lost in the wind. Stella just stared out at the ocean the words she had just spoken leaving a foul taste in her mouth.

“He started hitting me more often. I often missed classes because I had a black eye I couldn’t cover up or a broken bone I didn’t want anyone to find out about. Sometimes I was so hurt I wouldn’t want to have sex with him… and on those nights he just took what he wanted whether I agreed to it or not” Stella carried on her eyes blank, voice hard.

“I could have him put in jail for all of this” Peggy said carefully watching the seemingly emotionless girl.

“No, you said you wouldn’t tell anyone about what I’ve told you and I don’t want you to start now” Stella said turning her cold gaze to the woman. Peggy just nodded mutely. There was silence between them for a long while. But the shrink couldn’t let it go; she was only doing her job after all.

“What happened next?” she whispered to Stella softly almost afraid to ask.

“It was our two year anniversary and we were celebrating. He gave me a bloody nose right before he left that night. When I woke up the next morning my blood was all over my sheets. I knew right then that I couldn’t take it anymore. So I did what I had to do”

“I got revenge” Stella said with a wicked little smile.

• «•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸______¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•» •

She was sat at a table in a bar a group of empty glasses sitting in front of her. A full one rested in her hand a jaunty little umbrella sticking up from it. Stella was starting to like alcohol just a little too much. Her slender body was covered in a revealing white dress showing plenty of cleavage. One her feet were white sandals with ribbons crisscrossing up her legs. Unlike most of the time that night she was dressed for attention.

One of Sar’s friends came in and walked over to the bar ordering a drink. He lounged in one of the stools and then noticed her looking at him. Swaggering over to the table he smiled at her as he sank into one of the chairs.

“Rick, right?” she said giving him a smile that she hoped was sexy. His eyes traveled down from her lips to the expanse of cleavage below them.

“Yeah you’re Sar’s girl, Stella, aren’t you?” he asked taking a drink off of his red wine looking at her appreciatively.

“Stella, that’s me” she responded huskily hoping that she looked sexy and appealing. How any guy besides Sar could find her attractive was beyond her but she wanted to try.

“Where’s Sar tonight?” Rick asked gazing across at her licking his lips.

“Oh out with some girl” she answered hoping to sound nonchalant with a little shrug of her shoulders.

“He left you here all alone?” he leaned closer to her obviously trying to get a better look down her dress.

“Well you’re here now” Stella said leaning forward as well to give him just what he wanted. His breath hitched she could hear it. Then he cleared his throat and grinned at her.

“You’re right, lucky me” he leered at her a little and she wanted to shudder all over. But she was here to prove something tonight. Not just to Sar but to herself too.

“You know I’ve had a little too much to drink… I could use a walk back to my dorm” she lied standing up letting her skirt fall down around her legs. He looked her up and down in that smarmy way again.

“Done” he responded abandoning his drink on the table as he took her arm and led her out of the bar.




The next morning Rick was still in her bed when the door to her dorm room opened. Inside she was terrified with her heart pumping very fast. But outside she was the picture of calm. Under the sheets her gun rested in her hand. It would be Sar coming in and she was waiting for him.

“What the fuck is this?” Sar said as he walked in seeing them together in bed. In an instant Stella was on her feet and standing before him. Raising it she stretched her arm out placing the barrel right against Sar’s forehead.

“What does it look like” she answered pressing the barrel to his skin. His eyes were wild as he looked at her, his hands starting to shake.

“Look Stell, calm down” Sar said in a quiet voice.

“You are going to get out of my room” she said her voice cold and hard as she slowly backed him up towards the door. He raised his hands showing he was defenseless.

“If you ever come near me again I swear to Hyne you will regret it. If you even try to touch me I will shoot you. Don’t think I’m lying” she threatened. Her courage would not fail her now. This time it stayed with her like it had in the past making her strong.

“You’re going to pay for this” he said to her softly. She growled and shook her head pressing the gun harder to him slowly cocking the hammer back.

“No Sar” she whispered as she pushed him out the door way letting it close behind him. Reaching over it she locked it, grinning to herself in pure adrenaline glee.

“Holy shit, Stell, you’re not going to shoot me too are you?” Rick said from her bed looking at her with wide eyes.

“Not if you get out of my room right now” Stella gave him a feral grin.

• «•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸______¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•» •

“Word spread fast that I was single and soon guys were all vying for my attention and I loved it. Loved the attention so much I started sleeping with a few of them. I need to be needed, Doc, that’s why I have so much sex” Stella stated simply her gaze never moving from the ocean. Peggy just nodded and started packing up their things.

“Maybe you should start concentrating on yourself instead of the feelings that others give you” Peggy suggested. Stella frowned a little looking over at her.

“What do you mean?” she asked standing up slowly dusting some sand from her jeans. Peggy was shaking out their blanket sending sand flying all over.

“Instead of sleeping with another guy instead try to do something for yourself. Something that makes you feel good” The shrink answered looking over at her patient with kind eyes.

“Like what?” Stella raised an eyebrow at the advice.

“Draw. Order a Pizza. Take a vacation. Anything Stella, you need to start learning to have confidence in yourself. That’s the only way you’ll ever be free of Sar” Peggy responded with a shrug as she packed the blanket away into the basket she had brought.

“I am free of him” she said knowing that it was a total lie.

“The wounds on your hand and the bullet in his leg beg to differ” Peggy said with a bit of a smirk raising her eyebrows.

“You want to hear about the fight then?” Stella asked as they started heading down the beach back towards the Garden.

“If you want to tell me” was Peggy’s simple response. Stella nodded and started talking about what had happened just a few days ago.

• «•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸______¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•» •

It was time for her afternoon class and she was all ready running late. By passing the elevator she headed for the stairs in a rush. Then suddenly she was grabbed from behind a hand clamped over her eyes and one over her mouth. She tried kicking and screaming but before she knew it she was shoved hard. Stumbling forward she looked around trying to get her bearings. A ding sounded around her and she realized she was in the elevator.

Her response was instantaneous. Glancing around she looked for some way out but there was nothing. Only steel walls and the solid doors closed behind her. That familiar feeling of being closed in welled up inside of her. Her breathing getting short, her heartbeat quickening, and then she started feeling nauseous. She fell to her knees becoming almost paralyzed with fear.

“Sar I don’t think this is a good idea anymore” she heard someone outside of the doors say.

“Look the little bitch broke up with me and now has been screwing every guy in Balamb, she gets what she deserves” It was his voice and that made her even more terrified.

“No seriously, look at her she’s on the floor”

“So what?”

She heard some scuffling outside and then another ping and with a rush of air the doors opened. Sar was standing there with a few of his friends and he was looking far too smug. Slowly she rose to her feet gulping in the fresh air greedily.

“I warned you Sar” she said in a low deep voice. Then in a sudden movement she pulled her pistol and fired. The short report of the bullet filled the air followed by Sar’s loud shout. She dropped the glittering weapon and rushed forward not even fully aware of herself. Falling on top of him she started pounding into his face. Punch after punch landing hard and firm the sound of his bones cracking filling the air.

“Miss Artos!” someone was shouting her name but she didn’t hear it. All she knew was the panic, rage and fear thudding inside of her.

Hands were on her pulling her physically away from the bloody young man. One yanked the second gun out of her coat and tossed it away. She was dragged away and locked in one of the SeeD questioning rooms her hands left bloody.

• «•´`•.(*•.¸(`•.¸______¸.•´)¸.•*).•´`•» •

“And what’s your punishment for attacking another SeeD?” Peggy asked as they approached the Garden.

“Six months disciplinary probation and suspension from all Garden activities until told otherwise” Stella stated remembering the headmaster saying those exact words.

“You got off easy then” Peggy answered her with a shake of her head.

“It’s only because he locked me in the elevator. I wouldn’t have shot him if he didn’t” Stella came to her own defense right away.

“I know Stella, I know” was all Peggy said as the made their way into Galbadia Garden.

[raydensharpola]

Rayden: *neck bulges and reddens, throws darts at Sar's paper face* >( >(

[Lex]

Oh wow

I never commented on this before 'cause I didn't wanna break the flow of the story, but Ani and Lil did so >.> *jumps on teh bandwagon* XD

I really love this Al. It adds so much depth to Stell's character.

[Ash]

ahhhh Stella's relationship is so messed up :[ RAYDIE CAN FIX THE BOOBOO ^_____^!