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Post by junkuroki on Aug 19, 2007 21:51:09 GMT -5
Nosy Parker alert!! Nosy Parks on the prowl!
Jun: Shut up -_-
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Jun muttered a small thanks and a forced smile at Polaris after the other SeeD had held the elevator doors open for her, insides still fuming that her sword had been treated like a merchandise by the rest of the Opps. When her thoughts turned to Lawric--she'd caught his name when Jaime shouted out at him--her anger lessened considerably enough for her to be pulled out of her self-absorption to see Zacke coming in with a rush, going past her to stand beside Polaris at the back.
Oh, I wonder if he recognises her as Tomoe? Jun thought, her mouth quirking into a genuine smile. If he did, he didn't make any indication by way of greeting. But one thing she did know, the silence was suffocating. This wasn't natural, even though they hadn't known each other aside from being on the same team, surely a little friendly conversation wouldn't hurt?
"Ah so..." She broke the silence tentatively, turning around to look at both of them. "Have you guys figured out what to do for the Ball? It's just like the higher-ups to cause us headaches by making it an order, don't you thi--" Her question froze on the lips. Zacke's expression was weird, in a way that she couldn't put her finger on, and there was definitely a different kind of tension in the air between those two. Call her overtly speculative, but she definitely caught it with that meddling nose of hers.
She leaned against the right wall, discreetly observing their faces with burning curiosity.
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Polaris Lyn
I'm On D' R0LL!!
Handle with Caution
Posts: 183
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Post by Polaris Lyn on Aug 19, 2007 22:43:13 GMT -5
Polaris blinked when Jun spoke, looking over at the other woman in her peripheral vision just in time for Jun to suddenly stop halfway through a sentence and glance over at—Polaris turned her head.
He didn’t look like he changed at all, not since the last time she saw him, weeks ago. She wasn’t sure how to feel about seeing him again, because feelings weren’t something she had a lot of experience dealing with, and feelings related to him in particular were exceptionally confusing. There was something like respect and another thing that was definitely attachment, old attachment. But that was just a passing thing, right? Except now he was back and she wasn’t sure if it was old anymore. And things were different now. Maybe he was different now, she wasn’t sure.
Feelings were confusing. He was confusing, but she didn’t know him enough to try and figure him out. She didn’t know if she wanted to.
Oh, god, this was too much self-analysis. This was precisely why she was giving up on stupid things like socializing and feelings.
“I’ll probably fake a war injury,” she said to Jun matter-of-factly, looking away from the both of them. “Post-traumatic stress disorder should get me out.”
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Zacke
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Post by Zacke on Aug 19, 2007 23:00:45 GMT -5
XD nosy parker Jun
"Have you guys figured out what to do for the Ball?" Zacke looked up at Jun when she spoke. It's just like the higher-ups to cause us headaches by making it an order, don't you thi--"
She stopped in mid-sentence, glancing between them. He quickly averted his gaze. Oh Hyne, of course it had to be Jun in here with us. She's the only one who would pick up on this. he thought.
“I’ll probably fake a war injury,” Polaris replied to Jun tonelessly. Zacke looked at her. “Post-traumatic stress disorder should get me out.” She turned her face back to the doors, not even glancing his way. You jackass. he told himself. You complete jackass.
The doors slid open, and Polaris was the first of them to step out. Jun went to go next, but Zacke hurried past her, flashing an apologetic smile as he did so and hoping Jun would understand he wasn't trying to be rude. He strode behind Polaris a few steps, his mind racing. What the hell should he say, anyway? Things had become so awkward, it was almost tempting to just let the whole thing blow over. After all, it seemed like she didn't have anything to say to him...
"Tomoe," he blurted suddenly, his guilt overriding his insecurities. He slowed in his tracks, watching her, hoping she would turn...
His conscious would not allow him to let this blow-over. She deserved better than that.
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Polaris Lyn
I'm On D' R0LL!!
Handle with Caution
Posts: 183
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Post by Polaris Lyn on Aug 20, 2007 1:07:26 GMT -5
“Tomoe.”
And she stopped. Why did she stop? She wasn’t even supposed to be that girl anymore, but she stopped and there was no point walking away because it was obvious. She glanced at him over her shoulder, holding his gaze for a second before she looked away again, and faced him properly, arms at her sides and expression lightly questioning.
“I changed it,” she said. After a pause she said, “My name, I mean. You shouldn’t be using the old one. It’s dangerous.”
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Zacke
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Post by Zacke on Aug 20, 2007 1:46:23 GMT -5
Zacke's breath paused, suspended in his throat. She had stopped. Looking over her shoulder, she met his gaze for a moment, and he stared back expressionlessly. The soft amber was familiar, but not the look behind it. The look carried a certain distance. She never used to look at me like that. She looked away again, and for a split-second he opened his mouth to say something. But she turned her body to face him, and his lips came together again.
“I changed it,” she said quietly. He frowned slightly. What-- “My name, I mean. You shouldn’t be using the old one. It’s dangerous.”
He looked down at her silently, at a complete loss for words and probably looking like a fool. Dangerous? Of course it was dangerous. He felt like an idiot. The hair, the clothing, all of the unfamiliar things about her... she had changed herself completely, and it was probably all because of what he had said to Xu. She didn't seem to be happy to see him at all, and he felt himself growing even more nervous, wondering how much she knew. Why had he pushed this? He could have just left well enough alone. The awkwardness might have worn off, and maybe they could have become friends again. But now, now he was about to tell her something that would ruin any chance of her wanting anything to do with him.
"Okay." he managed, wanting to say something--anything, because these precious seconds were slipping by and he had no idea what he was doing. "Sorry..." he added lamely.
He broke his gaze on her face and looked downward through the space between them. "So--" he cleared his throat quietly. "So what should I call you now?"
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Polaris Lyn
I'm On D' R0LL!!
Handle with Caution
Posts: 183
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Post by Polaris Lyn on Aug 20, 2007 2:07:40 GMT -5
“Polaris,” she supplied helpfully, because he looked awkward and she couldn’t—not for the life of her—remember him ever acting like that and sounding like that and looking like that. (Of course, they hadn’t known each other long enough—or well enough—for her to see him as anything else but that teammate who lead the group. And then she was suspended.) It was strange. Something was strange. She didn’t know what but it was unnerving and not something she was used to. Well…she wasn’t used to him, in general. He was always wrong-footing her, it seemed.
There was a pause. He didn’t seem to be keen on speaking up.
“Did you need something?” she asked, tone curious. There had to be a reason he was trying to talk to her. The mission was over. She couldn’t see a reason for him to be trying to talk to her; did people bond during missions and become friends after? She’d never really known; her missions were always as an independent agent.
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Zacke
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Post by Zacke on Aug 20, 2007 2:17:52 GMT -5
Zacke is such a dork ;_;
"Did you need something?"
"... Polaris. Hmm, okay." he managed a half-hearted smile, still unable to meet her gaze. "Umm, nice to see you again, by the way." Wow, that sounded convincing. Fucking idiot.
He finally looked back up at her, and she looked back at him expectantly. It was the strangest thing, he was looking back at Tomoe's face but try as he might, he couldn't find Tomoe. Maybe a new name wasn't so weird. Maybe it fit. The thought made him sort of sad.
"Yeah, I guess I wanted to talk to you for a minute, if you're not busy." he said, brushing his thoughts aside and shaking off the uneasiness he felt. "I think I owe you an apology for something."
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Polaris Lyn
I'm On D' R0LL!!
Handle with Caution
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Post by Polaris Lyn on Aug 20, 2007 2:48:40 GMT -5
He is still cute, though. ;D
“An apology?” she echoed. She couldn’t think of the reason why he had to apologize. Was it the Sorceress thing? If he wanted to give up his dignity for Rinoa’s honor, it was perfectly fine, she didn’t have a say in it…but on second thought, she reasoned that maybe there was something else, because he definitely wouldn’t apologize to her about that incident. So it was something else—but there hadn’t been a something else, there hadn’t been enough time for him to have to apologize—
And maybe, Obsidian’s voice in her head said, you could just let him explain instead of trying to think everything through.
“I—yes, okay,” she said, voice halting and hesitant. He caught her off-guard again. He was very good at that, she realized. “It’s fine…I suppose.” She frowned thoughtfully, failed to come up with a reason behind the conversation and decided that she’d just listen to him and see what all of this was about.
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Post by junkuroki on Aug 20, 2007 2:51:15 GMT -5
Jun was mildly surprised when Zacke brushed past her in a hurry, but not before flashing an apologetic smile at her then calling out at Tomoe. It definitely piqued her interest alright. Impossible not to, it was like using a big fat chocolate turtle to bait her, how could she not rise to the occasion? But then how could she listen in without looking like an obnoxious nosy parker?
She inched within earshot to Polaris and Zacke, suddenly developing an intensive fascination for the plants next to them and examined them with big round eyes.
/I can't believe you think this would fool them into thinking you're not eavesdropping on their conversation./ Sapphy snorted.
Shut up you! Don't distract me from my 'plant inspection'!
"...think I owe you an apology for something." She caught the end of Zacke's sentence, her eyes widening even more. What? An apology? For what?
She nodded to herself, as if appraising the plant.
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Zacke
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Post by Zacke on Aug 20, 2007 3:37:22 GMT -5
“It’s fine... I suppose.” she frowned, looking understandably lost.
"Okay... " Zacke looked away. "You remember Esthar, right? The truck driver--and then I crashed the truck and we got into that mess with the media, we had to make a run for it--"
He cut himself short with a frustrated sort of sigh, knowing he was rambling. Looking back at her, he started speaking again, this time more slowly and calmly.
"Look, I didn't know you were that well-known in Esthar. I didn't know you had so many people out after you. And when I saw it for myself--the danger you were in--it kinda made me worry. A lot." He paused. "When we returned to Garden, I told Xu I thought you should be removed from the mission. She only complied because I lied to her about my reasons. I told her your status was jeopardizing our mission."
"I know--it was really selfish." He looked away, unable to meet her eyes for what he said next. "Maybe it's stupid, but at the time, I cared about you more than I should have, considering we're supposed to have a teammate relationship. I didn't want you to get hurt. So... yeah. I just wanted to come clean about this."
He met her gaze again. "I'm sorry, To-- ... Polaris."
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Polaris Lyn
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Post by Polaris Lyn on Aug 20, 2007 4:20:04 GMT -5
‘Shocked’ had to be, quite possibly, the understatement of the year, in regards to how she felt. She stared at Zacke and didn’t really see him, not sure whether to be angry that he—or grateful that he told her. There were feelings again, emotions that confused her, and it was almost like getting hit with a Confuse spell, to be perfectly honest, and—
“Oh.” Her brain couldn’t seem to find any vocabulary other than, “Oh. I—” She looked at him and didn’t know what to think—in fact she couldn’t think at all. Everything was a whirl of removed from the mission and it kinda made me worry. A lot and I cared about you. He cared. He did it because he cared?
He…kept her away from the fight because he cared?
She left her past behind, and left behind any chance of family behind…because he cared?
He cared. Past tense. He cared. Did he care now? Was that why he was telling her? Was it guilt? Was it caring? It wasn’t caring—she felt helpless just then, “I didn’t want you to get hurt.” There had been no hurt, just a bruised ego, and now—it hurt now, her whole life changed because someone cared about her, she changed because he cared.
She thought maybe that she wanted to hit him, and she stepped forward to punch him—Hyne, that would’ve felt good—except it was pointless and useless and—
—and she was tired. She looked at him, almost panicked, vaguely helpless and lost and disbelieving, and felt exhausted.
“I’m—I have to go,” she said, the words tumbling out in a breathless sort of rush, looking away from him and feeling dizzy. “I need—thank you—I just—I have to go.” She turned away from him and made her way to the dormitories, away from him, away from Zacke Mercutio and his honesty and his caring.
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Zacke
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Post by Zacke on Aug 20, 2007 5:21:56 GMT -5
“I’m—I have to go,” the words spilled out, her eyes looking anywhere but him. Emotions flashed in her eyes, too fast for him to read, and for the first time since they'd been reunited, he thought he caught a glimpse of the Sephirot girl he used to know. “I need—thank you—I just—I have to go.”
Tomoe, wait--
She wheeled around and began walking away from him quickly. He felt himself involuntarily follow her for a few steps, his lips parted as if he might speak out. But his voice was dead in his throat, and he slowed to a halt. Tomoe... He shut his mouth and watched her walk away, guilt searing through him. He wanted to call her back, or follow her, he wanted to make her understand that all of his intentions were good, make her see everything the way he wanted her to... he was sorry--he was only trying to protect her....
I had... no right. he thought, trying to accept it. No right.
He stood and helplessly watched her follow the circular path around the central elevator and out of his sight. He had thought she might be mad at him. She might say something harsh, maybe even hit him or something. But he hadn't expected her to withdraw from him like that. It hurt--not because it wasn't deserved, or because she was in any way mean about it, just because...
Of all people... her.
His chest became leaden with guilt and regret, and he turned his body and leaned against the railing next to him, staring down at his shoes and losing himself in his thoughts. What now? The mission was over. Sure, there was the Ball, but... Leave her alone. he told himself. You've caused enough damage. Just back off.
He sighed, for what seemed like the hundredth time today.
Tomoe...
Back off? He couldn't.
He knew he wouldn't forgive himself until she did.
He pushed himself away from the railing, heading toward his own dormitory.
*beats him over the head* >_< It's Polaris, NOT "Tomoe."
Zacke: >.O *cowers*
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Post by junkuroki on Aug 20, 2007 5:34:40 GMT -5
/Well I hope you're satisfied now./
Not a chance. She turned from her position at the plant, quickening to catch up with Zacke. She didn't need to see his face to know that he needed some distraction. And distraction he was gonna get.
"Come on Zacke." She said, pulling his arm when she neared him, all the while respectfully keeping her glance off his face. "We all need some fortifying right now."
She quickly pulled him towards the cafeteria, not caring if he resisted or not.
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jaimelewis
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Pancaaaaaaakes anyone?
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Post by jaimelewis on Aug 20, 2007 5:39:52 GMT -5
"Ah-ah, flattery will get you nowhere." Jaime shook her finger at Lawric, although she was honestly pleased he thought so highly of her food. "Come on, I told Van and Deo I'd reserve places at the cafeteria. If we're too late there'd be no seats." She hooked an arm through his and led him towards the elevator.
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Zacke
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Post by Zacke on Aug 20, 2007 5:56:11 GMT -5
Zacke's eyebrows lifted slightly and he turned his head when he felt someone take hold of his arm and tug persistently. Jun.
"Come on Zacke." She said, now dragging him along at her pace. "We all need some fortifying right now."
He felt himself smile, glad to have her distracting him at the moment. He really didn't want to go hole up in his dorm, alone and left to his thoughts. It wouldn't have been a happy place right now--his mind.
"Fortifying?" his smile broke into a grin. "Does that mean eating, or what?" he laughed, content to let her pull him along.
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