Jun's Room at the Nobleman

[Lawric]

^{This takes place during chapter one. The Opps have already finished their meeting at the apartment and decided as a group to take on this mission. Lawric is now going to meet with Jun at her room in the hotel because he wants to talk to her...}

---

Lawric paced down the second floor hallway. The clock in the lobby had said it was a quarter 'til midnight. Not such great timing. he told himself. His stride was as quick as it was long. Part of him hoped that she had waited up, because he did want to talk to her. But another part of him hoped she had actually gone to bed, because they had to be up by four-thirty and considering that fact, this was just a ridiculous time for him to be bothering her.

I guess we'll see... he thought with an inward sigh, stopping at her door and knocking on it a few times.

[waterlily43]

Jun had waited for a long time for Lawric's knock on the door, getting more anxious as the night wore on. It could only mean that the discussion was a long one. Which meant that if they really decided to join the mission, it would not be an easily changed decision. It was all for the best, so why was she fidgeting so much?

In all honesty, she told herself, it was the niggling curiosity of what Lawric had to speak to her about.

She decided to take a quick hot shower and get ready for bed. It was half an hour to midnight and perhaps too late for a visit? She couldn't help noticing the disappointment sinking in. It only reminded her how she had anticipated the visit.

She ended up spending more time in the shower than she intended, staring at the swirls of shampoo converging near the drain and flowing down as she rearranged her jumbled thoughts. Some of them were of the mission, but a lot lounging around that certain visitor who should've been here but wasn't.

But as if in answer a series of muffled knocks on the hotel room's door broke in through those thoughts. She opened the water flow at full force trying to wash off the shampoo and soap on her as quickly as possible, towelling herself dry and dressing in her sleeping attire of tiny tank top and shorts just as quickly, nearly slipping on the wet floor in her haste.

She opened the door panting and flushed. Sure enough, he was standing at her door. The bright smile on her face was automatic.

"Hey." She said, trying but failing to calm her breath. "Come on in." She stepped aside to allow him entry into the room.

[Lawric]

"Come on in,"

The bright smile was, of course, what initially caught Lawric's attention. But the sheen on her face and the wet hair inevitably brought it down from there, and what she was wearing caught him totally off guard -- namely her shirt and the... contents, beneath. She had obviously just been in the shower and had rushed to throw some things on so she could get to the door.

His brief downward glance snapped right back up quickly, and he returned her smile with a smirk that he hoped didn't seem awkward. He moved past her and into the room, turning once he had taken a few steps.

"I'm sorry -- it's really late, I know," he started in with his apology right away. "You look like you were actually getting ready to go to bed. I didn't intend to keep you up this late. I can go, it's not big deal... "

[waterlily43]

"You don't have to go." Jun hastily moved closer to place a hand on his arm, looking up at him earnestly. "If I really didn't want you to come in I wouldn't have let you in." She led him to the small couch deeper within the room and gestured for him to sit down. The movement had alerted her to a certain draftiness underneath her tank top.

"Take a seat." She said, trying not to show her sudden self-consciousness that she was bra-less in front of a guy. But she could do little to stop the blush creeping across her face. "Excuse me for a few seconds."

Half a minute later she was sitting next to him on the couch, her modesty covered and the draftiness she had felt earlier gone. The T-shirt she had concealed the undergarment with while taking it out of the closet had been left behind in the bathroom, but if Lawric knew what she had changed he didn't give any indication.

"So what did you want to talk to me about?" She asked unable to hide her curiosity anymore. "I'd like to hear it if you don't mind."

[Lawric]

Lawric sat on the couch, his eyes following her as she hastily stopped at the closet on her way to the bathroom. He smirked to himself when she shut the bathroom door, his mind flashing him a mental picture of what he had noticed when she first opened the door. He felt slightly guilty about looking, but it was something no male in his right mind would have missed, right? And Jun was so cute about it...

He wiped the little smirk off of his face as she opened the bathroom door and emerged. Of course he didn't fail to notice that she hadn't changed into the T-shirt she'd taken in, but instead she had obviously used it to conceal something else. That smirk threatened to cross his lips, but he resisted the urge, not wanting to make her uncomfortable or give away his naughty train of thought.

He shifted slightly as she fell down onto the couch next to him, turning his body slightly toward hers.

"I guess it's not really that I wanted to talk to you about something in specific," he replied, trying to bring his mind back to the reason he came in the first place. "I guess I just feel a little awkward about the meeting and the way things went. I don't know if you heard me yelling at my friend Jaime, but if you did, you know how upset I was...

"Anyway, we're going through with the mission." he paused to sigh. "And what I said earlier, about us dying... I didn't really mean it." He looked at her and paused again, finding comfort in her gaze. "I hope it didn't offend you. I guess this has just been a really hard thing for me to take in." He smirked and looked away. "Actually, I'm not even sure why I came. I guess because I'm selfish and wanted to make sure you're not somehow upset or disappointed with me." He stared at some spot on the carpet, unable to bring his gaze back.

[waterlily43]

"I'm not...upset with you in any way." She tried to meet Lawric's gaze and found that it was settled on the carpet. She patted his knee gently with a hand, and let it rest there. If he couldn't look at her he could still feel her attempt to soothe him.

"I wasn't upset when you talked about dying or when you had your arguments. Well, not with you. But I was afraid that your Opps team would get affected from being affiliated with SeeDs." She didn't say the jinx word. It would only sound stupid and stupid wasn't an image she wanted affixed onto her, especially by this guy. "And the only reason why the rest of us were so unaffected by the notion of death is that we've come to accept it in our missions. We're nothing more than glorified robots."

This time she was the one who shifted her glance away to settle on a spot elsewhere.

"That's not something I'm proud to admit."

[Lawric]

'We're nothing more than glorified robots.'

He looked at her.

'That's not something I'm proud to admit.'

"Jun... " He frowned slightly, watching her and waiting for her gaze to return. "I hope this question isn't offensive, but I don't understand. If that's the way you feel about it, why are you a part of SeeD at all?"

[waterlily43]

She removed her hand from his knee and placed it in her lap together with the other one.

"Garden has been my home for the last eleven years." She said staring at the hands and still not meeting his gaze. "I don't know where else to be. I don't have another place of my own. The only way I know how to go on with my life is being a SeeD, which means that I have to live with that notion of death being a close threat. Garden has become ingrained in me. I can't not be loyal to an institution that has effectively brought me up for nearly a half of my life. And I will continue this until I have found out what my previous twelve years of my life were like." She finally did look up at him, and her gaze was sad. "That was longer than I intended. I'm sorry."

[Lawric]

Her answer made him feel guilty for asking. It was obviously not something she enjoyed talking about. When her eyes met his sadly, he simply stared back helplessly, not sure of what to say or do. He wanted to be somehow comforting, but right now the idea of touching her didn't seem right. She had pulled her hand away from him, so she didn't seem like she wanted that.

"You don't have to apologize for answering my question." He responded quietly. "I shouldn't have asked, it was actually pretty rude of me. I'm sorry."

Wow. He thought to himself. You're a complete jackass.

Feeling awkward and a little guilty over the entire situation, he came to his feet suddenly and turned to face her. "Should I go... ?" He paused, lingering hesitantly. He actually didn't want to go, he just didn't know what to do.

[waterlily43]

She stared up at him when he got on his feet and offered to leave.

Wow congratulations Jun. A brand new record. You managed to scare someone away two minutes into the conversation.

"No...don't go." She shook her head, standing up to grab his hand. "I mean..if you want to I won't stop you but...but I'd really like you to stay."

She pulled him down together with her on the couch.

"You weren't rude. If you were I wouldn't have entertained with an answer. And I guess it was a little premature of me to burden you with a sob story like that." She gazed straight at him, her fingers moving brushing against his lightly. "If anyone's at fault it's mine. I didn't mean to make everything so...awkward."

What Jun spoils Jun makes right again.

She cleared her throat, and resumed smiling at him. "So... you want anything to drink? There's a mini bar fridge over there that's pretty well stocked. You're welcome to it?"

[Lawric]

Lawric glanced over at the small fridge and smirked a bit. "Nah, no thanks." His gaze traveled downward. "And it's not a burden to listen to you. I really don't mind at all. I just don't know what I should say or do. Not really good at this sort of thing." His smirk grew and became rueful. "I know I should be comforting or something, but the idea of me trying to comfort you just seems ridiculous... "

He shrugged. "Anyway, I guess I can understand sticking with something just because you consider it your 'home.'" He paused, glancing over at her as the smirk faded from his lips. "SeeD seems like a cold life to make a home of, though. You don't have any family?"

[junkuroki]

"You don't have to say or do anything." She stared at her fingers, now resting against his. They distracted her. His fingers were unbelievably long. She had once commented he had nice hands and the same thought floated in her mind again. She blinked, chasing the thought from her head. It was kinda inappropriate given that they were in a serious sort of conversation.

"You...the fact that you were willing to listen is good enough for me." She smiled softly. "And I don't know where you get the idea that you trying to comfort me is ridiculous. It's a sweet gesture. Why would you feel ridiculous about it? I'm just happy that you don't think I'm throwing some sort of pity party and wanted to leave because of that."

The soft smile on her face froze when he mentioned about her family. She didn't know if she should launch into yet another sob story again. It had been awkward enough earlier. There was no sense in making him uncomfortable again. He might bolt for real this time.

"I don't know anything about them. If I even have one." She said lightly, turning towards him with the same frozen smile, attempting to gloss over her words by directing the attention back to him. "Tell me about yours. I would love to hear what kind of family someone as charming as you grew up in."

[Lawric]

Her answer to his question unsettled him deeply. It was such a sad thought; the idea that this beautiful, smart, kind young woman had no where to turn for a sense of hope and belonging but SeeD -- a harsh and unfeeling institute of brainwashed human weapons. It seemed like such a shame, a waste. A horribly sad life. She won't find what she's looking for here, he thought dismally, though he wouldn't dare say it. He wanted to ask more questions, but he suppressed that urge. He hadn't come to stir up such a depressing mood.

At her question, he smirked and shrugged his shoulders a bit, his gaze falling downward.

"I'm not sure why you would want to know." He glanced at her hesitantly, hoping that hadn't sounded rude. "What I mean is, I don't have very much to say. It's an average family, I guess."

Actually, he just flat out didn't want to talk to her about it, and he was avoiding it. After hearing what she had said about her life, he had no desire to share any part of his own. It was... shaming, in comparison. Sure, he had an 'average' family, but he couldn't remember the last time he visited or even called. And not because they were dysfunctional; it wasn't them at all, it was him. He was just a selfish fuck-up of a son. He carried with him an impressive track record of opportunities ignored and relationships taken for granted because he generally didn't care about anyone but himself.

Why would he want to paint that kind of picture for Jun?

"You know," He slipped his hand from hers and stood suddenly. "I guess I'm kind of thirsty." He crossed the room and knelt before the mini fridge, opening it with one hand. "Want anything?" he asked from behind the door.

[waterlily43]

Jun almost let out a small mew of protest when he withdrew his hands from her fingers, barely holding back with a thin rope of self-control that was flimsy as paper. Her mouth opened slightly with a disappointed sort of frown acting like a child who had been denied her candy. Maybe it was candy in some kind of emotional sense; she had found much pleasure from the way his hand had felt in hers.

She shook her head at his question. She didn't want any refreshments. She wanted him to sit close to her so she could absorb some of the warmth he radiated. While listening to him talk, she loved hearing his voice. Some cold drink wasn't going to do that.

"I would've wanted to know anything about you at all, even if it is just an average family you had." She said softly, glancing at the hands in her lap. It sounded like he was trying to avoid answering her. I don't even know what an average family is like...but if I tell him this he would feel uncomfortable all over again. What's the matter with me? I've been saying the wrong kind of words all night!

"I'm sorry...I didn't mean to probe and if it made you upset..." She sighed, attempted a small smile. "My GF always tells me I'm too nosy for my own good. I suppose he's right. But now that he has another companion in here he doesn't nag as much any more."

[Lawric]

Lawric selected a small bottle of wine from the fridge, stood, and shut the door. "You weren't probing," he said with a shrug, crossing the room and sitting back down next to her on the couch. "You were just making conversation. Don't worry about it." He peeled at the foil around the mouth of the bottle absently.

This is awkward.

He set the bottle aside distractedly, apparently changing his mind yet again about drinks. He chose to focus his attention instead on her, and more importantly, on bringing the topic of discussion away from their lives, and the mission, and other depressing things.

"So, tell me... " he paused long enough to let the daring smirk on his lips fully develop. His eyes met hers expectantly. "Why did you answer the door the way you did, and then make such a show of changing?"